Getting Older

Yesterday was my 29th birthday. I feel so damned old. How did this happen? When did I go from being a punk rock chick that just wanted to go out and have fun, to an almost 30, married, boring woman. What happened?

I suddenly feel rushed. There's nothing standing between me and my 30th birthday now. The days are just ticking away until my 20's are over. I feel the need to enjoy my youth and go out more. Socialize more. Be more daring. Act young while I still can.

Some of this, I'm sure, is affected by my lack of children. I always wanted to be a young mother. My Mom had me when she was 27 and she always seemed older than my friend's mothers. In retrospect, their Moms all had them between ages 16 and 20. And I didn't want that! But I didn't want to be any older than my Mom was either. And I definitely wanted to be done with having children by the time I was 30. I had to wait until I was 27, when my husband agreed. But that was ok, I could have a couple kids in 3 or 4 years, right? Ha. I probably won't even have my first by the time I'm 30. I just feel like the whole last few years have been a waste of time. I could have been enjoying my life and my husband and my 20's and wouldn't be in any different place then I am right now.