Graduation Day

I've never actually graduated from anything before. I hated high school so much that I attempted to graduate a year early by going to night school. Turns out, going to school both night and day is not the best plan for someone that can't stand being in school. I failed my daytime classes because I missed 6 days in one semester. Even though my grades were all A's and B's. So I didn't end up with enough credits to graduate early. At that point I just couldn't imagine staying in high school for another whole year. I was already planning the rest of my life. So I quit and took my GED. In retrospect, I really should have stuck it out. It's rather embarrassing to have to list GED on job applications. I took some classes at our local community college but never enrolled anywhere. I didn't want to commit to 4 years of my life until I knew exactly what I wanted to do, so it would be worth it. And that never happened. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. For right now, stay at home mommy is pretty high on the list.

On Wednesday I had a different kind of graduation. I graduated from my RE to my OB. I must admit that over the last 6 months I've watched other women and couples graduating and been jealous. Especially while I was going through the ectopic pregnancy. It's ridiculous that I could be jealous of those women. Women I know went through some sort of infertility before getting to that point. Most of them, probably more than us. I should have been happy for them and happy to see that it does work. But no, I looked at them and wondered why. Why do they get this joyous moment, walking out with their U/S pic in hand? Why do they get to see everyone smiling and telling them to send pics of the baby when it's born? Why do they get that and we don't? On Wednesday, I finally got that. It was finally our turn.

First we got congratulations and goodbyes from my favorite nurse, Bree. She's still my favorite even though she bruises the crap out of my arm everytime she takes my blood. Then we got to have our last U/S with Deb. Here's the pic:



I actually like last week's gummy bear pic better than this one. But you can tell how big baby has gotten. I'm now measuring 10 weeks. Deb actually said she'd like us to bring the baby in so she could see it in person and not just on the screen. Sigh. I'm going to miss these people. I wish I could continue going there through my whole pregnancy.

Then we got to see the Dr. one last time. I asked him what we should do about our next pregnancy. (Assuming this one goes well) Our original plan was to just never use birth control again until we know we're done having kids. This one will have taken 2 1/2 years to get here by the time it's born. So it seems silly to use birth control when we know we want at least 2 kids. And I'd sooooo much rather just get pregnant while not preventing instead of going through all the stress of TTC and fertility treatments again. But I was worried that if we get pregnant on an unmedicated cycle that my low progesterone may cause another miscarriage. Or worse, another ectopic. The doc thinks we should go ahead with our original plan and call them as soon as I get the positive test. He said that a good pregnancy changes your body and "hits the reset button" So there's no reason to think I wouldn't have another healthy pregnancy after it. He would want to monitor me closely again through the first trimester. And if it does end badly again then we would know not to do that anymore. I don't know how we feel about that yet. We'll revisit it after we get through this one. I'm always the planner though. I figured I'd get those questions out there while I still had access to the RE.

After that we got to walk out to the desk with our little U/S pic. Get the big smile from the receptionist when she sees the word "Graduate" marked on my chart. I tried to be quiet about it and to put the U/S pic in my purse as quickly as possible. I felt the looks from the other women in the waiting room. I wanted to be respectful, but I can't deny that it felt awesome to be on the other side.